Entries in the 'Children' Category

How Kabbalah Helps Solve Problems

568.01Question: If there are problems in relations between people, does Kabbalah help solve these problems?

Answer: Partly. I cannot say that in everything at once. I cannot say that a person begins to study and it immediately becomes clear to him where he is and how he should act. This is not the case. But a person begins to understand how he should act in order not to make mistakes.

Although these actions may not be entirely convenient for him—actions of bestowal, actions of benevolence, love, and so on—they show him in which direction he must act in order to be in the correct relationship with the universe, with nature, with all the forces that affect us. Put yourself in a state where all forces will act on him for the good.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/4/21

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How To Stand Out In A Crowd

269Comment: Scientists say that in order to be most productive, you need to be different from others.

My Response: You do indeed need to be different from others because one-sidedness and similarity rob the world and levels it.

Comment: Dissimilarity eventually awakens sharp edges.

My Response: But this is development. When we begin to appreciate differences correctly and try to integrate them correctly, we end up with development.

Question: According to scientists, it is not enough to differ from others, a person needs to differ correctly. What does it mean to differ correctly?

Answer: To differ correctly means to connect opposites correctly so that none will be harmed because of the other. On the contrary, we should connect them in order to bring out the different attributes, the uniqueness of each opposite, in the best way.

Comment: Steve Jobs said: “…the people who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

My Response: Yes, a certain amount of madness is necessary. Madness is expressed in the fact that you do not concede your ideas no matter what because you understand that they are the basis of the world and that the whole world is mad. What does mad mean? It is outside of, external to, our mind. This is why one is out of their mind.

Comment: Thinking in terms of mutual cooperation between systems and time is not a simple matter, but such thinking is the best means to differ from the masses. You simply understand that it is the formula of the whole creation, not only of our world, but of all the upper worlds.

My Response: So we need to operate in order to be compatible with creation, and to draw others to follow us, to push them forward, to mutually cooperate with everyone in order to be Adam, human, and not be bored somewhere in the corner, wearing slippers and dozing off on the couch in front of the television.

Question: What is the image of this person? Is he a warrior? A scientist?

Answer: This person is courageous in spirit. Not necessarily physically, but in spirit. This means that he understands that he has to give humanity something. If they take it, he succeeds, if they don’t, he does not succeed, but he should. A person who feels that he should is Adam.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/3/19

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Tell The Truth Flat Out Or Keep Silent

292Comment: A writer asks, “I want to understand how I can cope with myself. I cannot help telling the truth to people. I feel bad if I hide it and, therefore, I constantly break up relations; I speak the truth. I do not know what to do.” This is such a heartfelt cry.

My Response: This is not a heartfelt cry. It is a cry of egoism because he wants to impose his opinion on others. He believes that he understands the state of others, their wrong state, their possible correct state, and he wants to impose his understanding on them. This is absolute egoism that must simply be destroyed within oneself.

Who gives you the right to impose your opinion, your feelings, and your tastes on others?! Do they expect this from you?! Even if you think that this will make you better, it still does not give you the right to approach them and start filling them with your reasoning, tastes, goals, and so on.

Comment: I must say that there are a lot of people who think so.

My Response: This is such upbringing.

Question: Is there, generally speaking, such a truth that needs to be told to a person?

Answer: Truth is only in giving a person freewill so that he chooses his truth and that’s all. This is the most important thing in raising children and in relationships between adults as well.

Question: How can we do it?

Answer: Teach a person the technique of the correct revelation of life. If it were so, then we would all live perfectly, and so it will be someday.

Question: What if a person has a 100% belief that he is right and is simply obliged to pass it on to another?

Answer: Then he must shut himself up and swallow himself in order not to choke on his own truth!

What egoism he has! This egoism does not even allow him to feel it. The only thing that a person can do is to simply understand how selfish he is, that he is obliged to fill another with his opinion.

It’s horrible! This is stated very simply: “The highest limit of wisdom is in silence.”

Question: That is, you are better off keeping quiet at this moment?

Answer: Yes.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/15/21

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Do Not Impose Оld World Values

632.3Question: Usually, parents try to impose their values on their children, and children absolutely do not accept this. Today, for example, they do not accept an excessive desire for knowledge or for work. Is this fundamentally wrong?

Answer: Each generation has its own aspirations. The old generation in no way can impose their understanding of nature on the younger generation. It has outlived themselves and should give them only nourishment.

And the new generation must develop in its desires and aspirations. It is only desirable that they be correct and not as tangled and broken as they are today.

You should never impose the thoughts and values of the old generation on the new one. Educate by example only. With this example, I show that I solve all questions, needs, tasks in this way: respecting, calculating, being in balance with the environment, with myself, with my family, etc. Therefore, according to my example, they will also solve their problems at their own level, with the same attitude toward them.

We only need an example, no words. Children understand everything like monkeys. They understand us better than we think.

The main thing for us is to correct ourselves, and then we will be able to influence them in this way. In addition, our inner desires and inner corrections are associated with their souls because they come from us.

If for their sake we want to create a correct, harmonious, kind society, which takes into account each other and wants to achieve mutual public consent, then they will feel it. In them, it will begin to act in spite of and without any prodding from our side.

I really hope that this will be the catalyst, the button, that will push us and force us to start correcting ourselves.

Comment: But you say that our generation is a generation of spoiled, lost people.

My Response: Moreover, it is the spoiled people who can begin to change for the sake of their children, so that at least in them they can see a certain direction for the better.

Otherwise, can you imagine how unhappy they will be compared to us! We will see a completely disfigured, twisted, incomprehensible society, which stagnates in convulsions and does not know how to escape from suffering. We will see this in our children and grandchildren.

Question: And what to do?

Answer: Just turn to yourself. We cannot fix them. Turn to yourself, without looking at them. And suddenly we will see how they begin to take an example from us, begin to draw closer to us and participate with us in new relations to each other, in the construction of a new society.
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From KabTV’s “Close-up” 8/19/09

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What To Correct Within Yourself?

962.3Question: What should a person correct within himself?

Answer: The attitude to others, nothing more.

Comment: But if you say to anyone right now, “You’re selfish,” they’ll say, “Well, it’s okay, there are worse.”

My Response: Naturally.

Question: So he still has to reveal his nature?

Answer: This is what the wisdom of Kabbalah is for. Otherwise a person will always justify himself.

We’ve nowhere to go. We are in a very unpleasant state. I am very happy about this because it is a springboard to the elevation of humanity, to the spiritual, material, any kind.

We live in a very interesting time. If only we can let everyone know as quickly as possible that there is a method for our correction, we will see a completely different world.
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From KabTV’s “Close-up” 8/19/09

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“What Are Some Ways To End Child Abuse?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: What are some ways to end child abuse?

The ultimate solution to end child abuse is the same solution to end all of our problems in our time: to work on our connections so that they become positive, and that we will prioritize concern for others over self-concern.

If mothers, for instance, came together and connected in order to change society, so that a mutual concern would blossom around children and babies, then this concern would bridge all distances and boundaries. Such a concern would become expressed through these mothers connecting several times a day, and the creation and consumption of programming that they would make on the Internet, the TV, and the radio on the topic, which would raise awareness of what children go through both at schools and in their homes.

If such a concern would spread throughout society, even if only among mothers, then it would change the picture regarding child abuse, as well as several other problems children experience. However, it is currently far from the case. They feel no need to connect in such a way. Each mother cares only about her own children, which is insufficient.

Ending child abuse thus involves generating a supportive environment through sharing the same concern, that all of us together will take care of this common problem, where we will care for other children in addition to our own, and others will do the same. Until we reach such a mutual concern for each other’s children in society, then we will continue seeing more and more unfortunate cases of child abuse.

We need a special force here, a unifying force that will influence society, and unless mothers come together and unite, then this force will elude us.

Based on New Life episode 1147 with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman, Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum-Moshe. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash.

How To Use Your Qualities Correctly?

961.2Question: How does a person use their emotions correctly? How, with their help, does one advance and engage in self-development?

Answer: We can control ourselves and our emotions only through the influence of the right environment.

These are people who are more focused on the true revelation of the world. If you are among them, you can also correctly orient yourself, and thus all your feelings and emotions will come into relative order.

Question: Is there some kind of power that comes from the environment and allows me to manage myself more effectively?

Answer: Yes. It is the power of bestowal and love, of good connection. You can feel it from others.

Question: And negative qualities, such as laziness, envy, jealousy, and arrogance can also be used in some way for the benefit of others and yourself, for your own self-development?

Answer: Sure. They are given to us so that we can make an inverse realization of them, to move from egoism to altruism, to bestowal and love.

Question: How does one imagine envy in an inverse form?

Answer: If I envy others who have more distinct traits of bestowal, love, and connection with others, good mutual assistance, and so on, then this envy plays a huge positive role, and I need to develop it.

If I’m in the company of good people and I don’t envy them, then I don’t use the opportunity given to me to gather the best from them.

Question: And if we take a more complex quality, such as arrogance?

Answer: This is also a good quality. Any quality can be used both for good and bad. If I don’t have arrogance, then I’ll take from everyone what’s in them. And if I am arrogant, that is, I value myself, my ability to make a special person out of myself, then I will only look at the good sides of others.

Comment: In this way, you can inversely evaluate and try to use each quality. Let’s say anger is what drives me to act. I can be angry at myself for not being better than I am.

My Response: Sure. There is nothing evil in nature. All qualities are given to us in order to use them correctly. They all have to be good, it all depends on their application by a person.

Question: So the very definition of “bad quality” is fundamentally wrong?

Answer: Yes. It’s our egoism that drives us to use them.

Question: Can good qualities be bad?

Answer: It depends on the person. A quality cannot be bad in itself.
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From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 4/12/21

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Dancing Conquers Souls

552.03You are asked a question on Instagram:

I am a dancer. I am 31 years old. I work as a coach with children and in the course of my work I came to the conclusion that the main principle for me is not to harm or break the child. Also, the sport of dancing itself is not about dancing, but about what I can teach children for their future life. This is the way I think.

My question is: how can I guide and help them to be able to find themselves in the future? How can I make sure I don’t break or kill the uniqueness with which they come to me? How should I define my task with each child? How should I understand what each child needs me for if they have come to me?

Different types of children come; those who are incredibly talented dancers and those who shouldn’t train at all. Nevertheless, we met each other for a reason, although, perhaps I am mistaken about this. Please help me figure this out. With great respect, Yegor.

Answer: Here is my answer. First, everyone who comes to you is led to you. The upper force leads them; there are no accidents in the world. Therefore, you should value each child, not only because he is especially suited to dancing, but due to the fact that he was led to you.

Your next step is very important. Maybe he will leave you now and will not return again; however, the coming to you and leaving you will also play a certain, possibly big, role  in his life.

You are already becoming a participant in his destiny. Therefore, you must make his imagination of you, of dancing, and of your art remain positive, even though it is fleeting. This is the first thing.

Second, try to give him the impression that dancing forms a person, that a person wants to express himself through dancing.

Dancing is, one might say, the oldest, most stable, and natural expression of oneself. Primitive peoples danced around the fire with each other. Doves whirl with each other and so on. It’s all in the dance. It is not through speech which was created later, but dancing.

That is, dance is an internal expression of the soul’s impulses and aspirations. Therefore, it is a very serious language from within nature, very deep, and the most natural.

Ballet can express any aspirations, desires, and feelings including empathy. There’s no need to say anything. If it’s a real action, then literally any movement of one’s little finger or turn of one’s head means everything!

Dance is a whole science. We know that there is a science of facial expressions and movements. All of this is connected with the nature of man, with one’s place of residence, and so on. This is a very deep conversation that is very far from us today. Today we are blocked from all of this.

Dance is an expression of the soul. This can astonish a person, infect, tie to oneself, drag away, or subdue.

Question: It’s beautiful! Have you ever learned how to dance?

Answer: No. I just understand it. I have some kind of inner yearning that people do not wield it, including me.

A lot can be said about this because there is no layering from all kinds of schools or periods of history. It is actually the language of the soul.

Question: Yegor also asks: “How can one preserve the uniqueness of each child who comes?”

Answer: To do this, you need to be a very serious teacher and only take a couple of students and no more, as the ancient sages did. They did not run huge schools. There were those like Rabbi Akiva’s, of course, but usually there were two or three people whom a sage taught and that was all.

Dance is actually a language. I’m not talking about modern ballet. I’m talking about what can be expressed through movement.

Question: That is, by teaching dance, one can actually raise a sage?

Answer: Of course! This is not dancing; one teaches the language of communication with other people. Besides communication, we do not need anything, in principle. This is the correction of the world. So, in fact, dance, as the science of Kabbalah teaches, is simply a high level thing.

This rapprochement is sensory, without words, and even without music. It is an expression that is not superficial, although both words and music can complement it. When it’s expressed correctly, the body movement is sufficient. We see that dancing is everything to animals. One animal sees another and they understand each other and interact.

Question: What should be the goal of a teacher who teaches this language of communication, dance?

Answer: Language is also very specific. It is impossible to impose a language on a person because every language is limited; it is violence. One makes him express himself exactly in this way. In movement and dance, if a person completely relaxes, then one can express oneself, and the rest will understand him precisely because he expresses himself and that is all.

Question: Meaning, the task of the teacher, in general, is for the learner to be in the dance?

Answer: Of course. Precisely to free himself from any external constraints.

Question: How is it? This is impossible to teach!

Answer: You teach only how you can free yourself from your inner limitations. Then, you can already sing your own way and express yourself. There is nothing here! The others just have to cancel themselves as much as possible, enter you and your understanding of some inner experience, and then they will understand your dance.

Without music, without words, without anything—just movements.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/25/21

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Joy Of Birth Or Misery Of Parents?

626Question: New research shows that after the birth of a child parents are less happy. About a million parents were interviewed. Parents talk about financial difficulties, about needing a bigger apartment and a bigger car, that children require money, and so on.

What do you think about the news that parents do not feel happier after the birth of a child but the opposite?

Answer: There is no family. A family is when there are three generations. These three generations are not together. The three generations are the grandparents, the father, the mother, and the newborn. They provide the correct foundation, confidence, knowledge of childcare, family structure, and support to the family in everything. They should be an example, they should live together.

In modern apartments, of course, there is no room for this. However, it is desirable to live together. Otherwise, you will not understand what a family should be like, its origin, and the way it existed for thousands of years.

Question: Do children feel that their parents are not very happy about the fact that they had children?

Answer: Of course! The child feels it perfectly; he feels the entire surrounding atmosphere.

Comment: That is, even if they are talking quietly in the kitchen: “Look, we need to spend more money, we need to change the apartment. Why did we do this?”

My Response: All of it is reflected in everything. The child was in the mother’s womb, and now he is in a larger space and feels this space.

Question: So, if there are such thoughts, do they all influence him?

Answer: He feels them all, absorbs, and reacts accordingly.

Question: Even if parents think that it has become harder for them, how should they behave?

Answer: It does not matter that it is harder. They must be prepared that it will be harder. Of course, it will be harder! It becomes harder every day, and it will be harder for them until they die. They cannot escape it, this baby will get bigger and bigger, demand more and more, and so on.

However, they must understand all this and support each other for the sake of the child’s development. This is a very complex system, and it must be supported by society, the government, and the family. And certainly by the closest family!

Question: And what then is the joy of bearing a child?

Answer: To see your future in it, that children are born, and that they will be the continuation of the family. I am not talking about anything spiritual but simple everyday life.

Question: How did this gradually disappear?

Answer: Our egoism has separated us, divided us, put everyone in his own corner, and that is it. This is how it works. It is good for the ego when each of us is inside of himself and cares only about it.

Comment: And even about him, the closest and dearest one, we say that he is a burden to us.

My Response: He is not the closest and dearest. We say that he is a burden to us, he prevents me from taking care of my child, the one within me!

Question: Does it mean that my “I” is the closest and dearest?

Answer: Yes.

Question: What have we come to! I wonder what will happen next?

Answer: It is going to get worse. We will get to the point where we will all run to different corners, hide in our own corner, and not want to communicate with anyone! That is all! I will just be ordering myself a pizza and a coke, or something like that.

Question: And what will happen next?

Answer: Humanity must see the dead-end. Once we realize that this is a dead-end, then revelation will come from this dead-end: that we cannot continue like this.

I think we need to come to an understanding. That is, there should not be wars, there should not be any riots, excesses, but there should be clear awareness of the hopelessness and utter futility, and then we will start thinking: “What should we do?” Then we will remember: “Wait, I have heard something from Kabbalists.”

Question: “There is a book on my shelf, there is a clip,” and so on. Will a person look at it and start moving toward correction?

Answer: I am sure of it.

Question: So we must put everything on shelves, in computers?

Answer: Of course! We have no other choice.

Question: Even if we come to the same conclusions all the time?

Answer: It does not matter. If you have a small child who is growing and developing, you still have to tell him what to do, how to behave correctly. You cannot just leave it.

Question: In what will the correction of humanity be?

Answer: In learning to come closer to each other. They need to come out of seclusion, from their corners, and connect with each other in the right way. In the end, they will discover in these right connections the positive force of nature, the Creator.

Question: Why have we not discovered this until now?

Answer: We did not need it. There was no recognition of the evil of our nature. Everything was all right. We had everything: sports, football, all sorts of lures, everything you want, everything you need. Live peacefully and enjoy.

Question: Will there be a greater need to connect?

Answer: There will be no choice. Only hopelessness will lead humanity to the solution that there is a need to change the paradigm.

Question: If a person can hear you now, what decision should he make and what should he think about?

Answer: What the right life should be and what needs to be changed to make it happen. And to see that it is not so difficult. All the means for it are there. Let’s do it!
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/8/21

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Break The Vicious Circle

220Humanity in its development has advanced to the current level and now begins to understand that everything that society imposes on us, in principle, is to our detriment. We litter the environment, kill our life, disconnect from the family, from our children.

Instead of working a few hours a day and getting only the necessities of life, a person works twelve hours a day. For what? Only to produce what is considered valuable by society, otherwise, he will not respect himself, how he will look at his neighbors, and how his children will look at him.

It turns out that it is a vicious cycle created by us, which makes us much more unhappy than animals.

Question: A person is a desire to enjoy, he is drawn to what, as it seems to him, makes sense. He runs after some wrappings and thinks that in this he will find something, but in the end he finds nothing. What, in principle, is he to blame? And what is it all for?

Answer: So that we are disappointed in our natural, thoughtless, selfish development, and see how all this leads us to complete destruction. Look what families, children, and homes are now! All the most ordinary, natural, healthy, and normal suddenly disappears somewhere, distorts, and breaks. We cannot enjoy even such simple things.

We have invented all sorts of values and standards for ourselves, and we chase them. And as a result, we get depressed, which today is the first problem in the world, and we use drugs, otherwise we will not be able to keep up with this pace or this life in which I hate everyone, including myself.

Everyone needs a personal psychologist. Children at the age of twelve or thirteen leave home, break away from their parents. Where are they, what’s wrong with them?

Now a generation is growing that cannot get anything from us. We have nothing to give them. Baby animals are always raised by their parents. In this respect, we are the same animals. Who will bring up our children? What skills will they be able to acquire on their own? Imagine what kind of suffering they will have to go through in life before they find the correct algorithm of behavior.
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From KabTV’s “Close-up” 8/19/09

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